The Development Diaries Part One: Speech & language referral
He should be talking by now, he should be potty trained by now, he should be using a knife and fork by now. Everyone means well, but the gut punch that comes along with those remarks can make you feel like you’re failing as a mother. I know it does me. I, in fact, know I’m not. I am my sons biggest cheerleader and advocate. I am his voice while he begins to learn to use his own.
Freddie was born 8 days into covid. His health visitor checks were all over the place, over the phone. Circumstance against us, we made the best of it. We followed recommendations for development stages and followed his lead. He began walking at 10 months, not long after he was running, then climbing. During his 9 month check, we were asked over facetime if Freddie had been saying any words. He hadn’t, suddenly he said “Ma ma”, delighted we told the health visitor who exclaimed how brilliant it was that she had been present at that moment. Hindsight sourly showed us that it was just babble. Freddie is now 3 and a half and is only just finding his voice. His first proper word has been “yes”. The perfect first word for our adventurous, daring boy.
He started preschool in June 2022. An outdoor preschool which he adores. His speech has only just started to come on...As and when he chooses! Freddie has mainly communicated through squeals and grunts. After he turned 3 we agreed to get in touch with Freddie’s new health visitor who came and assessed him. Together we agreed that we needed to be referred to paediatrics for an autism assessment. He is so incredibly intelligent, he looks at the world in a completely different way to us. He is a major sensory seeker and loves to explore through sight and touch. We spoke to preschool and a lady from the council who agreed that he needed to be referred for speech and language.
We have tried to keep a lot of the external opinions of others influence our decision to go down this route. To be told by family members and friends that your child is falling behind, SHOULD be doing something by a certain age hurts. We have listened to those who have taken Freddie as his own person. The ones who reassure us that he will do things when he is ready. The ones that soak up his ways of looking at the world and love him for who he is.
Months of waiting and his referral came, 29th August! We’re anxious to know what an appointment entails, as I’m sure a lot of other parents in the same position are. I’m going to keep a diary, and take you along for the journey!